Survival Mode
A state that has us living in need to appease and being liked. Flying by the seat of our pants, constantly distracted and doing anything and everything to disconnect us from our true selves, going through the motions of life without taking a moment to pause, always… so tired.
Literally getting by to get by. We know that life is wild and busy and that sometimes we don’t even have a moment to catch our breath, that sometimes we are so in it, that we don’t even realize we are in it.
I know that I didn’t, when I was. Since I can remember, around 15, I have been doing most of the things that I thought I had to - I started working (alot) while still in highshchool, eventually upgraded to two jobs, then back down to one which really could have been characterized as three in some ways, and then I got the brilliant idea to start exploring and building out my own business amidst finishing my degree on and off AND becoming a part of a whole ass family 🫠🥰.
Whew. Takes my breath away just thinking about it; it wasn’t until around last year that I realized how busy I actually was … it had just been reality in one way or another since I could remember … only in recent years I wasn’t as tired (but still SO on the go) because I was working towards my dreams and it truthfully didn’t feel like work… but I still didn’t have that extra time to attend the events or be with friends and/ or network and get to know more people … which is a pretty big catalyst as you buuild out your business.
Point being, some of us do not even realize that we are in it, until we do — we are doing what we know how to do to survive. Survive the bills. Survive this crazy world. Survive this life and all the things that come with it.
Survival is, how we are wired. According to theories by Carl Jung, we have always been in a state of survival, wired in our genes from way back when, when we were running from tigers and having to hunt our own food .. only today’s survival is much more modernized now with the constant threat and dings and chaos that our news cycles are running on repeat and the weather apps are warning of and so, so much more.
In a way, being in survival is much, much easier. Because when we slow down, we have to get really real with ourselves and that work is really hard my friends, taking a special type of person and special type of strength (which truly, we do all have) to really pull ourselves through. In other ways, being on the constant go is preparing us (if not has already started) a life full of exhaustion; tension; and dare I say, disease.
By design, keeping us sick. Keeping us disconnected from what is lying within us.
We grow up disconnecting from our lived experiences, not to mention from those that came before us. Living in a world that utilizes distraction over really dealing with it. Allowing it to lie stagnant in our bodies, allowing the energy to get stuck as opposed to moving through us like it should be.
There is no shame to be had here if you find yourself in survival mode. We all tend to go back here sometimes, surviving in the way that we know how to, regardless of the area of life. Survival mode is engrained throughout our bloodline. A reaction to threats perceived by our stories and narratives, what our nervous systems are literally designed to do.
Unless we change the direction. Unless we can rewire and set a new narrative.
One of my more recent survival strategies that has popped in this year has had to do with food and how I hide myself; how I have been hiding myself all of my life with weight because of past experiences. I’ve gained some weight this year as memories re-surfaced through my somatic work, protecting myself in a way that I knew how, despite knowing that it was not always good for me.
But awareness is number one, and the conscious effort to make change is the long, hard process that we continue on. Changing direction through the thoughts that inhabit us, the rituals we embody, and who we surround yourself with.
I guarantee when it is good/ understanding thoughts, positive rituals and people that serve you (not in a physical manner, but rather in a contribute to your growth manner), it will be easier to step into the flow of who you are. To get out of the exhaustion; need to please; move about life as a means ‘to do’ rather that ‘to be"‘ state.
Connecting to your breath can be a catylst here too .. although warning, it can bring up things you weren’t even aware of … things and emotions (energy in motion) that are ready to flow through and no longer keep us stuck in our survival strategies or unconcsious patterns.
The breath we practice over on this side of the internet actually can and does rewire your system, activating you to then calm and show your body a sense of safety that its never known. A process, a journey, a commitment.
A practice so potent that I’ve expanded the community in which has been being developed for years to include weekly drops (new and seasoned) of Breathwork practices, a belief, as I briefly mentioned on the importance of integrating your breath into a true practice.
It’s a low cost membership that promotes the deepest levels of softness, growth and expansion, and you are welcome to step into my world whenever it feels right to you …
Some more notes on survival mode, because it is not always as easy as it may seem above. As noted about our nervous system, significant events cause our reactions to resort back to what feels comfortable. Safe (not in actuality, but rather what your body knows). Out of habit.
It takes a lot of work to reframe these.
Some ways to know if survival is currently running through your blood?
˃ You collapse into bed at night but lay awake replaying conversations or worrying about tomorrow.
˃ When someone asks "Where do you see yourself in five years?" you feel a sense of panic or blankness because you can't even imagine next week.
˃ Choosing what to have for dinner or which email to answer first feels as high-stakes as a life-or-death crisis.
˃ You feel "gray" or flat. You don't feel much joy, but you don't feel much sadness either- you are just "fine."
˃ You have a "short fuse." Small inconveniences, like a red light or a spilled glass of water, trigger an intense flash of rage or a breakdown.
˃ You take on everything yourself and feel resentful, yet the idea of delegating a task makes you feel more anxious than just doing it yourself.
˃ Your breath is shallow or never feel like you can take a big breath
˃ Your digestion is really fast or really slow (ie: you don’t poop enough or you poop too much)
Tools to support you along the way ⬇️
InTune to keep present, Adaptiv to bring your body back to homeostasis and pause for a moment. Your breath to bring you all the way back home.
Practice saying ‘no’ to things that you can to prove to your brain/ your reticular activating system that the world won’t end if you stop
Practice safety and grounding techniques (ie: the butterfly tap, safety scan etc.)
Reflection: what was I doing when my survival mode tendencies took over?
What is it about that moment that triggered my response?
Where does this stem from?
(try and continue the pattern of questions if you can, each going a layer deeper from your previous response).
Deep breaths as you remind yourself that you are doing the best you can ..
&an invitation to dive into the deeper work with me; to support a deeper rewiring of what you’ve ever known on a whole mind/ body level.
