Not a Social Worker?
It’s a complex topic.
“Social Workers are regulated Health Professionals who work with individuals, families, groups and communities to improve collective well-being”.
NOT somebody who has the education (SSW, BSW) and has spent the better part of 15 years working in the depths of the fronts lines where I never knew if I was walking into smiles or doors being slammed in my face. Wanting so badly to just be the stable, the safety in these kids lives. Annoyingly so, much of the time I know a lot of them would say.
I worked so hard to be some form of light, to try and get a dance party going at 8am just so we could start our days on a good note as opposed to the thoughts and doubts in self that played on repeat in regards to how they feel about themselves, how they react to perceived threats and the control (safety) they never received through their core developing times.
I did all of this, knowing that the system wouldn’t be kind to them. Knowing that they would have to work extra hard to overcome the statistics not in their favour.
Wanting, so badly to be the change within the system (any system) - realizing eventually, and with so much grief and questioning whether I am making the right calls, that you cant.
Not from within, anyway.
The field of Social Work gets a bad rap. And rightfully friggen so, there has been a lot of harm.
On the land in which I reside (Treaty 20 Territory) and all of so-called Canada, we have the residential school system and the sixties scoop that occurred, with harm still being caused today in different ways and manners.
With so much compassion, felt knowing and love for the experiences.
With this, however, I want to offer from the perspective of a settler Social Worker whose learned so much about the disconnection from self as a white woman/ and been/ continue to lead a life where I am forever learning … mostly in terms of ancestral wisdom these days, more of the practices that connect us back to ourselves.
I know that the majority of people sign up for an often thankless career because they care, because at their depths, they just want the world, the collective, to be okay. And we’re doing what we are taught we do in order to be successful. &at our roots, before and beyond the patriarchal conditioning and so much harm that keeps those needing the services in cycles of desperation, fear, anger … we were/ are people who just wanted the world to be a better place.
In the Medieval times, providing support in what was known as the poor houses, orphanages + with the deep belief that charity work was/ is our civic duty. Financial relief was advocated for and continues to be; which truly, isn’t that much of a relief … which goes beyond the control of a Social Worker. Advocates for child labour laws, public health and women’s suffrage, racial and economic justice and so, so much more.
The impact of Socialism on the field, essentially providing a common narrative to the masses. Deep regulations that focus’ on the paperwork as opposed to the child (as was in my case most of my career) or service provider. That, while improving significantly through the harm that was created, still has very misinterpreted views and understandings on why things happen the way they do.
I also want to touch briefly on restricting movement of clients, something that ive held a lot of guilt over for a long time, a touchy topic and most definitely not always warranted or coming from the “right place”. From the point of view of the one being held, I can imagine there is so much fear and anger, and the deep sadness that lives beneath that. Ive known and felt it all radiating from them.
But as a person who has had no doubtedly been in hundreds if not countless more holds over the course of my career, I can tell you that from only my perspective, it was never from a place of wanting to cause harm.
Rather keep everyone around us (including them), safe .. in the way that we were trained.
Safe from punches to the face; the countless bruises and attacks; from those who you watch go completely empty/ eyes black and into attack mode; to the ones that lost control in the Walmart because they didn’t have enough money for a candle or at the county fair because their exhausted after a fun day and start attacking; and sometimes (lots of times) not so safe because they are bigger than you and have somehow managed to get you cornered in a bathroom because you asked them to stop smoking in the house.
All service users, despite the age, reacting to harm and trauma they have faced as a result of this wild world. Covering their pain with substances, words or fists. Keeping the ones supporting them in cycles of burnout, anger and frustration for the systems never doing anything for them.
These flowers that you see strewn through a lot of my branding come from a girl I once knew. A client that I supported - while I was one of very few that she felt safe with, this looked like an attack when I walked through the door because safety was a threat. She came a long way in the years that I knew her, but eventually her demons caught up and she didn’t end up making it. These flowers were the background on her phone way back when, and for whatever reason, I had her send me the picture because I loved it - now I know it was because they were meant to be here in tribute, to honour her, to remember her through all that I do in this field.
Staffing that are always living in states of anger and survival as opposed to the energy of gratitude and love, which is what makes real change (and I know … its fucking hard.. and sometimes (like ive chosen) you have to do it outside of all the system and noise because its real hard to be in a good mood when the systems just shit on the clients that you are trying, so deeply to support.
It’s a never ending cycle, one that I truly thought a part of me would be in forever - with the goal of wanting to help and offer my wisdom from through the years - not only in education, but my own experiences in unlearning, plant medicine, Holistic Wellness and of course more recently, our breath.
Recogizing that the ways in which we were taught, while significantly improving and bringing in more talk of Holistic wellness and arts-based healing, have come from the lens of patriarchal and social conditioning.
It was only semi-recently that I realized I could no longer sit in the realm of the frontlines, ive provided my services in this way for a long time … and I have new ways in which I am building in order to be of more service that does not take my time, or my sanity.
That and the energy that can be in spaces of support can be palpable. The anger, the frustrations, the being defeated coming out in harm. From not only my experiences over the years, but others with which I have connected with (because this seems to be the realm of people that connect with my work .. surprise surprise lol), we witness: power-over dynamics, leaders not leading in a good and healthy way because of their need to talk about everybody and there perception of them, telling stories of clients without permission, bosses not caring for themselves … which isn’t a good role model for the ones coming into the field, turning down support for their staff, sitting on phones disconnected from the clientelle and the stories can go on.
Now, I offer my trainings to the frontlines - still wanting to show up and share what I know … in my case the impact of our breath on our Mental Health .. just disconnected these days from the harm and energy on the inside.
All of this to be said, I’ve been going through a shedding of old identities in regards to the realm of whether I refer to myself as a Social Worker. I got in almost trouble from the college for calling myself this without being registered and because of the communication it led me to questioning whether I wanted or needed the title at all.
Do I need the title for my opinions and thoughts to be honoured in some places? Absoloutely yes.
For me? No. I know that education, while in some aspects reputable, is not the end all-be all.
For people who said being able to use insurance would be helpful, it has me wanting to offer this help because I get it and pieces of me want to be accessible while other pieces are shooting way higher.
But taking the title (aka registering and paying them lots of my hard earned money) it keeps me a part of a system that I don’t fully (fully being the key word… there is still lots of good happening out there) agree with.
I still haven’t decided how I want to proceed, I need to sit more with what I want for my future and how this helps (or doesn’t) my goals. Whatever I choose, it will be with honour and a promise to do it my own way and to never, of course, intentionally cause harm.
This career has both rocked me to my core, witnessing some immense tragedies, grief and experiences while providing so, so much to be grateful for. A system that is most definitely not always (if rarely, ever) helpful, but a system who did shape a lot of the good parts about me.
One system that we are all, in ways a part of - despite our resistance or hatred, just as we are in ways, in connection with all of the other systems.
We can’t change it from within, trust me, I know.
We can show what else is possible for the ones still just wanting to create change for the ones who have the biggest traumas and often started out life a lot less than fair.
Through coming into our power and sharing what we know ⬇️⬇️⬇️
